Focal Leadership

Leadership

Emotional Leadership

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Emotional leadership probably triggers many different images in your mind. Enthusiastic? Unhinged? Tears? Mood swings? Passionate? Oppressive? Authentic?

Reflecting on leaders in the public eye, there are many different emotional styles of leadership. There are leaders who do not display much emotion, those who are known for demonstrating a lot of emotion, and those who control the emotional content and style of their leadership.

Why consider emotional leadership as a topic in the broader consideration of leadership? There is already a lot of commentary on emotional intelligence, executive presence, and leadership impact.  Leaders with high or low emotional content in their leadership have an impact on others with varying degrees of significance. Emotions in leaders are critical as they are a major influence on the emotional response of those they lead.  And the importance of emotions is well noted – in addition to impacting mental health (commitment, stability, feelings), emotions also have a profound impact on the immune system. Scientists have found that negative emotions reduce antibody levels and lower the ability of the immune system to ward-off sickness and disease. Hence, poor leadership that invokes a negative emotional response results in lower engagement and lower employee well-being.

A leader who exhibits a lot of emotion as part of their leadership, either arising from their personality or convictions, should expect different reactions. Some people may be inspired, energized, and motivated. Others may be switched off, unimpressed, or unconvinced. But is there anything wrong with showing emotions as part of being an authentic leader? No! In an increasingly virtual world, connecting on an emotional level has never been more important. Engaging hearts as well as minds is so important. Having to lead through a laptop screen instead of in-person, is stretching leaders more than ever. People need to feel valued, inspired, and connected. When the laptop screen reverts back to an email or document following an interaction with a leader, what are employees meant to feel? If they are not self-motivated, they need regular emotional sustenance from their leaders to connect them with the wider world and infuse them with energy and purpose. Now more than ever leaders need to discover the power of emotions in leadership.

Building and maintaining positive emotions is like a drug for many – a supply needs to keep on coming. Leaders are in the floodlit zone of providing emotional sustenance. A leader who just turns up without consciously or sub-consciously doing a self-inventory of personal motivation and emotional health, needs to reflect on the impact they are having. Being indifferent to the emotional legacy a leader delivers is poor leadership. Turning up with a positive mindset, a buoyant attitude, and credit in your own emotional bank account will leave a positive legacy.

What about controlled emotional leadership? In my opinion, this can go two ways. First, a leader who knows how to control their emotions, how to accentuate them, and how to suppress them appropriately, is a skilled leader. A skilled leader knows how to use emotions to motivate, communicate, and liberate others. They know how to keep disappointment or frustration in check – sharing if it is appropriate, and with a sensitivity for how it might impact others. But leaders who control their emotions so much that they come across as void of feeling, empathy, or authenticity, need to understand the lack-luster impact they are having.

Emotional leadership does not mean over-the-top exhibition of random emotions. It is the appropriate demonstration of emotions as part of communicating, connecting, and changing. Emotional leadership is above all the mark of character in a leader – appreciating that people need an emotional connection as well as cognitive. It is an aspect of leadership that has never been more critical.

Decision-making – is timing everything?

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Timing of decision-making and leadership are often wrapped up together. Right now, there are so many arguments raging about the timing of leadership decisions. Re-open the economy, deem services as ‘essential’, return to the office, reduce costs, go virtual, and so on. All of these topics require timely decisions. It seems as though more and more people see timing as right or wrong … predominantly when they are personally affected.

As a leader decision-making is something that comes naturally. Afterall, leadership is a responsibility invariably accepted by those who are comfortable with making decisions that impact other people. There are a minority of leaders who find decision-making onerous or who reluctantly don the mantle of responsibility – a topic for another article. But leaders who make decisions often have to accept that the timing and impact of these decisions will be seen subjectively by others.

How do you know whether a decision is right or wrong?

Some former Presidents of the United States of America had some interesting techniques:

Benjamin Franklin: wrote lists of pros and cons on a piece of paper; struck out items on both sides that seemed to have similar weights (or combined them to make weightings equal); waited a few days; the longest list determined the best decision.

Abraham Lincoln: surrounded himself with great people (often his enemies) who were not afraid to table the best information; considered all points of view and then decided.

Theodore Roosevelt: “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

There are some leaders who consider decision-making to be their responsibility and those who will be impacted by their decisions are just waiting for them to decide. They have ultimate wisdom, insight, and authority. Consultation is not considered because it could come across as a weakness or lack of leadership. In my opinion, this type of leader is missing some of the fundamentals of leadership; humility, empathy, and listening.

Of course, a leader who does not make decisions and prevaricates, vacillates, and hesitates, is not someone who is easily followed. People are looking for leaders who have courage, foresight, and good judgment. Making decisions with these three qualities is characteristic of a confident leader.

The best leaders are those who know how to make the best decisions at the best time in the best way. By definition, this means that decision-making has different guises. Decisions that are urgent often require leadership experience, instinct, and courage. Decisions that impact many people, if not critically urgent, often benefit from consultation, considering options and outcomes, and more careful communication.

So, when is the time right for a decision? If I knew the answer to this question every time, I would be as wise as King Solomon. But there are conditions leaders can consider that influence the timeliness of decision-making. These include implications, risk, urgency, impact, and cost. A single person does not often hold absolute wisdom to be able to make the best decisions every time. That is why great leaders are those who know how to lean on great people. What I might think to be a good decision, may indeed prove to be right. But then again, it may not be the best decision. Being able to consider different points of view, weigh up outcomes, be mindful of all affected parties, and take external forces into account, often requires a collective view rather than a singular opinion.

The timing of decision-making may or may not be critical, but the carefulness and precision in which a decision is crafted can often make or break a leader.

Leading Change in Yourself

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Leading Change is a hot topic. Given the present pandemic, change is not an option. One of the biggest challenges is leading change in yourself. The pandemic has thrown so many curve balls that require us to change, but how about the changes that require personal leadership and not just a response?

What do I mean by this? Some people are pre-disposed to adapting and flexing without any discomfort. Others struggle. Some people are ok being led through change and others enjoy the challenge of leading others. But a lot of stress is caused when people feel that they are constantly reacting to the circumstances around them. Being able to lead yourself through change is a disposition that many are experiencing, yearning for, or simply bereft of. Anticipating that change is a constant, developing chameleon-like behaviors, and retaining serene mindfulness, are adaptive ways of leading change in yourself.

When I first learned to drive, I remember being told by a policeman friend of mine, “steer into the apex of the bend and accelerate out of it”. This driving technique seems to make sense to me. In the same way, if you can intentionally anticipate the upcoming changes of direction, position yourself appropriately, and purposefully invest your energy in the new direction, this seems to be a great way of leading change in yourself. Let us take these one at a time:

Anticipate the upcoming changes of direction

Anticipation can be a quick reflex, or it can be a deliberate plan. Leading yourself requires more of the latter and less of the former. If we are always playing catch up, then we are being led by change rather than leading ourselves through it. If, however, we reflect, research, and resolve to meet the upcoming changes with a positive mindset, we get ahead of the need to just react. Anticipation is an acceptance of the inevitable differences to the status quo. Getting prepared, planning for new solutions, and learning adaptive behaviors, will help you anticipate change. You have heard the phrase “being able to see round corners” … well how about “being the change that lies around the corner”.

Position yourself appropriately

If you do not position your car on the outside of your lane before you steer into the curve, then the curve will be much more difficult to steer around … and you will have to slow down much more. But if you anticipate what is ahead of you, your efficiency and trajectory will be much better. So, positioning yourself for the changes that life, business, and society hold in this current environment will determine how effectively you lead yourself through change. Positioning yourself appropriately implies a change. Communicate differently, work differently, and ideate differently, are all essential to lead through change. You must shift your alignment to the change – be its master, be in control, be ready for it.

Purposefully invest your energy in the new direction

Some people have a victim complex. They are the afflicted ones. Whereas those who lead change in themselves are the opportunists and optimists. Around the corner of our current predicament is a different life. It is hard to imagine that this is the last pandemic we will ever face – and I am trying not to be a doomsday prophet. New opportunities are presenting themselves, the seedbed for innovation has never been more fertile, and the future beckons. When you emerge from the apex of the curve, a new horizon presents itself. Clear vision is restored. We will get through the current pandemic crisis, and there will no doubt be many that have suffered along the way. There will also be those who feel a sense of excitement. Not only of old things returning to normal, but of new vistas. History teaches us that disasters are painful, and they are also accelerants for change. Leading change in yourself will allow you to reflect on the hardships we are all experiencing and also to be authentic in hope.

As we all journey through this time of immense challenge and turmoil, leading change in yourself is an opportunity to build strength, succor, and sustainability to our world.

3 reasons why leaders should focus on their strengths

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Leaders should focus on their strengths. Why write an article about something so obvious? Because most personal development plans focus on addressing the gaps in a leader’s skill/behavior set. Isn’t that true? When leaders participate in assessment for development, invariably the feedback discussions focus on how they can make up a lack, rather than build on their strengths. There is absolutely nothing wrong in identifying development gaps. Indeed, I invariably practice this when coaching leaders. But the biggest differentiator in leadership is accentuating strengths rather than addressing weaknesses. That isn’t to say that blind spots, over-played strengths, or critical deficiencies can’t be derailers.

Recently when coaching a senior leader, he shared with me that one of his greatest weaknesses was large group presentations. This leader is a superb conversationalist and a very warm human being, as well as being a very effective business leader. I offered him a suggestion that he might turn the tables on expectations for the presentation set-up to work in line with his strengths. “Why not tell a story, be more conversational, have a fireside chat environment, be interviewed …. anything but standing behind a lectern delivering a presentation.” He started his presentation with a story, which not only resonated enormously with the audience, but also helped him slow down, become more comfortable, and deliver a much more confident presentation.

  1. It’s no accident why you are a leader

    Becoming a leader of others often means that individuals have demonstrated abilities and performance to warrant them being asked to lead others. Whatever these skills are, it means that a leader has a gift that adds value. They may still need development as a leader and as a contributor, but their track-record has earned them status.

    A leader might have strategic insight, professional expertise, or inspirational talent. Whatever their differentiation, it has had an impact on those around them and still does. Making this unique talent even more impactful is how to maximize their potential and deliver higher value.

  2. Strengths distinguish, weaknesses dilute

    Individuals are known for their strengths and weaknesses, but it’s often the strengths that leave the greatest legacy. It’s the same for organizations – some are great at volume, some specialize, some are acquisitive, some are geographically focused, etc. Almost all geniuses have their flaws – some very major ones. But this doesn’t take away from the fact that they are geniuses!

    Leaders who focus only on developing the gaps in their skills/behaviors are in danger of becoming average. Leaders who take every opportunity to play to their strengths, mindful of developing their gaps, are the leaders who rise to the top. Of course, the great leaders are those who surround themselves with others who have strengths where they do not.

  3. The world needs strong leaders

    If you have had the experience of being led by someone who hesitates, lacks confidence, and who fails to inspire, you will understand this last point very well. The world needs strong leaders. By “the world”, I mean companies, nations, families, teams, and organizations of any sort. Being led by someone who demonstrates conviction, courage, and compassion, is to feel the power of a leader with vision and gravitas.

    Leaders who step up and inspire followers are essential to propel people and organizations forwards.  They often have belief, wisdom, and empathy … or even if they only have one of these in abundance, they still leave their mark.

There will often be reasons to pick up on a leader’s deficiencies. There will invariably be development gaps that leaders need to address. But there is always a need for leaders whose strengths are the reasons why they are recognized, rewarded, and respected.

Leadership vulnerability allowed!

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Vulnerable

Leadership vulnerability is a topic occasionally addressed in books and articles, and sometimes addressed in personal conversations. It is not often a topic addressed in leadership development programs. Vulnerability is defined by Wikipedia as the inability (of a system or a unit) to withstand the effects of a hostile environment. I’d like to think that a “system or a unit” could also include a person! A hostile environment can simply be an environment where the person is struggling to cope or facing forces that they find imposing or threatening.

It would be interesting to see this topic as an agenda item in a leadership development program alongside topics such as strategic thinking, emotional intelligence, influencing, etc. Why? My experience as a coach and developer of leaders over the past 20 years has taught me that many leaders need to talk about their vulnerabilities as well as addressing their competencies and behaviors. Some assessment tools provoke these conversations with reference to stallers and stoppers, over-played strengths, or other personality traits and drivers. These sometimes still feel a little “normalized” rather than coming from deep personal reflection or an inner sense of inadequacy – which can sometimes consume leaders.

In some of the most vibrant and progressive organizational cultures, personal coaching situations often provide the context for leaders to talk about their sense of vulnerability, weakness, struggles, and personal dilemmas. These may be related to their roles and responsibilities, and sometimes it might just be a relief to have time to breathe out and speak to someone confidentially about themselves.

I recall one situation where a coaching conversation started with an invitation to the leader to talk about whatever was most pressing for them. “My marriage” was the answer. This leader was facing a real conflict between their work demands and the time away from home that this required. As an executive coach, I haven’t faced this specific scenario on many occasions, but I often have conversations with senior leaders about personal challenges that they would otherwise be reluctant to talk about with anyone in their organization.

How many leaders are faced with insurmountable pressures, unreasonable work/life balance, health challenges, or domestic issues influenced by work? How many leaders are a breath away from depression, burn out, or just being desperately miserable? How many leaders feel the pressure to perform and keep giving their lives to a job without deep reflection on their personal happiness?

At this stage I do want to recognize that there are many leaders who have a clear grasp on their personal fulfilment and are very balanced in their roles, personal lives, and sense of purpose. Leaders who have personal challenges and vulnerabilities are not lesser leaders or weak leaders, they are still leaders. Leaders who haven’t confronted a moment of vulnerability shouldn’t look down on those who have – life has a habit of turning tables!

Confronting a vulnerable situation can be the beginning of a better tomorrow. Whether it is a sense of personal inadequacy, a mismatch with corporate culture, a clash with leadership, a desire to redirect a career, or any other hostile influence, leaders are better when they can talk it out. A “hostile influence” doesn’t need to be a game-changer, it can just be a moment to confront situations that don’t feel fair, balanced, or positive. I have had frequent coaching conversations where leaders achieve personal breakthroughs after they have spilled their guts to someone in confidence. We live in a world where the pressure to perform and deliver results often exceeds the care of people. Coaches are not counsellors, but leaders often just need an empathetic human being to talk to. Executive coaches are best positioned to coach others when they have faced similar pressures and are professionally astute at addressing vulnerabilities of leaders in today’s workplaces.

One phrase that should never be used with someone expressing personal vulnerability is “get over it”. I would however like to suggest that we should “get over it” when someone wants to talk about their vulnerabilities …. this is normal, human, and ok! Indeed, it could be said that the most secure and confident leaders are those who gladly admit to vulnerabilities. Honest leaders know they aren’t perfect!